Why I am Unabashedly Pro-Obama

I don't really have much political alliance to any party. I feel that both parties are polarized and neither represents my values across the board. But I am seriously pulling for Obama, in a crazy-obsessed kind of way. Not because he's the best candidate (though he may be). My allegiance is based on pure, illogical emotion. Because really, I am wanting him to win because he is Black.

Raising a Black son, I feel that there are so few positive role models for him. I mean, name five famous Black people. How many of those people that come to mind are upstanding citizens that you would want your kid to emulate? So I dream about what it would be like for my son to see an African American man as the president as he grows up. The PRESIDENT. The leader of the free world. What possibilities will he think himself capable of under that example? How would this shape his view of Black men? How would this shape his view of himself?

I have no idea how an Obama presidency will shape our country, but I have high hopes for how it might shape my son.

The Dreadlock Dilemma is now The Dreadlock Disaster

I don't even want to talk about it. I'll let the photo speak for itself . . .

The Dreadlock Dilemma

Jafta has been asking me, with increasing fervor, to cut his dreadlocks off. He really wants a buzzcut like his friend Nate, and like his cousins Austin and Derek. I think that he is at an age where he is noticing the physical differences between he and most of his friends. His hair is a major difference, and he wants to look more like everybody else.

I know that this is the right thing to do for him, but I am just wrestling with it. I know it sounds so shallow. It's just hair, right? But for some reason it brings up strong emotions for me. For one, he has had dreadlocks since he was a baby. It's the way I am used to seeing him. I always have a hard time with change. In fact, early in our marriage, a haircut was Mark's way of getting back at me any time we had a big fight. (of course now that we are both marital therapists we never disagree on anything. mmmwwwwaaahahahahaha!) I know that cutting his dreadlocks will make him look older. He won't look like the same little boy I am used to.

I also feel like his dreadlocks have been a labor of love. Hair is a major issue in transracial adoption. It took me so long to figure it out, and I worked very hard at cultivating those dreadlocks and giving him a good, afrocentric head of hair that wouldn't scream, "my mama's white". I soaked up every bit of information I could find on maintaining dreadlocks. I am pretty proud of those darn dreadlocks.

Wow, I've just given lots of reasons about me, me, me and what I want. And I guess this needs to be about what Jafta wants. So, sometime this week, I think we will be heading to the barber to give Jafta a "hight and tight" buzz. And I will do my best not to cry.